Preventing North Carolina from Being Flushed

Posted on in Politics

Not a day goes by we don’t hear of a new company that says they’ll no longer do business in North Carolina because of the unbelievable desire of their residents to relieve themselves exclusively in the presence of members of the same gender. What woman cannot appreciate the random aspiring male photographer, practicing the skills of his trade, just behind the stall door? Peekaboo!

I have heard some claim this law constitutes discrimination against transgender people. Unfortunately, it turns out, in a civilized society, people must obey societal norms. It’s the way we keep what’s called civility. Should we similarly allow those who reside in nudist colonies or members of the free the nipple movement to walk our streets entirely naked?

Interestingly, when it comes to individuals who attempt to avoid generally applicable laws due to their strongly held religious belief, no specific accommodation is ever said to be acceptable. In those instances, Christians who oppose certain types of lifestyles are said to have no choice but to conform to societal norms. Don’t approve of homosexual weddings? Too bad. You want the right to request someone obtain a different caterer? Hell no. You want the ability to respectfully request a couple find a different photographer? What do you think this is: the 1950s? But, you’re a biological male who wants the ability to enter into a female restroom because you’re feeling especially feminine today? Well, that’s an acceptable accommodation. After all, we would never want to apply a rule everyone else must follow, if a person perceives it as discrimination.

I have no idea whether people are actually born in bodies of the wrong gender, or whether their feelings of inadequacy are due to dissatisfaction with one’s body. As a person who lost all my vision within two years, I once experienced what it’s like to detest something about one’s self. It took me years, but I have learned the real challenge, in a person’s life, is not seeing how many different variations a person can transform themselves into, but instead learning to accept who you are and realizing that the quality you once saw as a detriment, is a benefit because it makes you unique and special.

Some have suggested those having undergone sex change surgery should be able to use the facilities of the gender they have morphed into. How exactly is one supposed to prove the successful accomplishment of this feat of modern day medical genius? Perhaps if Hildebeasts loses the nomination, to Karl Marx Sanders, Victoria secrets in North Carolina can recruit BJ Clinton to be their official restroom door inspector. Remember Bill, this job is different from your sordid experiences in the oval office. It’s like a box of chocolate; you never know what you’re going to get.

I in fact have a solution which should satisfy all sides to this debate. The current law alleged to be discriminatory should be repealed. Instead, the North Carolina legislature should pass a law requiring all new constructions and renovations to install a family restroom. It would be family friendly: especially to women with young sons, or fathers with young daughters. It would save businesses money: since costly enlarged designs, necessary for handicap accessibility, would no longer need to be made to both restrooms. Finally, those confused about whether to choose the right or left door, would be able to take the middle road you might say. After all, isn’t that the definition of compromise? And, having to use a family restroom because of one’s condition is no more discriminatory then the presence of handicap spots in a parking lot. It is a reasonable accommodation for a special condition.